Despite me doing a thoroughly convincing impression of a pirate for a couple of days we have rediscovered our arty mojo here at Chez Jhompson and the boys have been arting up a storm over the last couple of days.

We indulged in a bit of wet-on-wet watercolour painting, exploring spring colours of differing yellows and greens.  I love how gentle this kind of art is, allowing for free interpretation.  Huwyl’s sense of focus and purpose with his art has definitely changed over recent months.   He has a clearer idea of what his goal is and is willing to spend more time and care in order to achieve it, it is lovely to see him so immersed.  Neirin is, of course, not able to stay on task for as long but he definitely enjoys all of our art experiences and still finds time for a little dress up.

Of course he enjoys it all the more when it is messy…

Neirin is in a much more sensorial developmental stage, he is experiencing things much more through his body and senses than his eyes, it is really fun to watch him dive in, uninhibited to a box of  art tools and some paint.   He also really enjoyed scattering rice on his watercolour painting, though there was a bit more dumping and spreading than I had anticipated.  Note to self, never leave the room when there is a tub of rice on the table.  Never.  

I’ve been using my Pinterest Art Board to log ideas for art projects (and everything else), I find it such a wonderful resource for ideas.  Even if we only use it as a jumping off point it is great encouragement to try new things, to experiment and see what happens.

So what was it that inspired all of this creativity?  What triggered this attack of arty mojo?

Tada!  The most fantabulous set of shelves in the entire world!*  Yes indeedykins these puppies have literally changed my life.  No more art supplies scattered everywhere, toys with no home, games forgotten and out of sight.  Now it is all front and centre, triggering my creative thoughts as I see the supplies available and think hmmmm, what could we do with that? As well as having a tidier house, I feel much more able to create interesting projects at a moment’s notice and I know that the boys will actually be able to use their toys as I present them with different baskets of nicely grouped items for their creative fun.  Adore.

Stephen knocked these up for me as phase once of my Organise My Stuff plan.  Ok, the title could use some work but the idea is sound.  Apparently this was his first router project, when he told me this I nodded as though that meant something to me but quickly moved on to the topic that really interested me, baskets. I got these onces from ikea and they work perfectly.  The smaller ones are great for storing art supplies, toys, activities…you name it these baskets can handle it.  The larger ones on the bottom currently store playmobil (there is a LOT of it) and another holds the school laptop.  Life is good.

Though my long term plans involve wall to wall ceiling height shelving and a purpose built art bench (ambition is good you know) I am more than happy with things as they are right now.  I’m already planning a reorganisation of our homeschool materials and have some plans for seasonal baskets, science baskets and fun collection baskets that will hopefully materialise some time in the future.  But for now I am content.

Unless Stephen fancies knocking up an art bench, in which case I will not say no.

*This claim has not been verified by any external sources but is, however, true as this is Emmalina Land of which Emmalina is Queen and therefore the Boss of Everything.  

I began the weekend with a breakfast of fresh eggs (just collected by Stephen) and some toast made from fresh baked bread.  Is there a better way to start the day than that?  If there is I haven’t found it.  We’ve been out and about a lot the last couple of days, a birthday party, drama class, shopping for baskets and meeting a farmer friend to talk about buying some of his pigs.  It’s been happily full.

Today is a holiday in Ontario, aptly called Family Day.  It’s given us that bit extra time together, 2 adults on deck makes such a difference.  I’ve been doing some cooking, the no stress kind that rises or stews over hours, requiring little input but creating something delicious in return.

Dough becomes bread, roasted bones yield creamy fat that is perfect to cook with and then go with veggies to make the healthiest of broths.  Dried beans rehydrate slowly, waiting to be cooked and added to a chilli, intended to fill our tummies at lunch time this week.  All of this easily slots in around our day, bubbling or rising or soaking while we go about our business.

It’s a good job too because Stephen has been busy with some making of his own,

My clever chap has built me a custom designed set of shelves to accomodate many, many baskets (I do love my baskets) and hopefully creating a more orderly environment for all of us.  I promise more pictures once I’ve organised it all to my great satisfaction!  I’m very lucky to have such a handy man about the place,  I’m taking advantage before the farm work totally takes over our free time.

In between all this business we are trying to make some time for each other, some moments of closeness that will see us through the days of separation as Stephen heads out to work for 10 hours each day.  The week seems to go so much better when we have good memories to draw on, good thoughts to sustain our hearts.  So we are making some smiles, some outside time, some hugs and laughter.  Hopefully we are making our family a little stronger, a little closer, because it doesn’t just happen, it takes work and effort each day.

This family is certainly the best thing I ever made and more than worth taking a day to enjoy it.  Wishing everyone else an equally happy one.

Bowling is a sport right?  Of course it is.  So today we filled our sport quota for the week, we also did a bit of socialising…is that the same as socialisation I wonder?  Well we had a great time anyway.  I tried not to despair over the fact that the only person who got a lower score than me hasn’t even reached his third birthday yet and thought that the point of the game was to get the ball in the gully.   I was also able to model my losing gracefully face while my friend Steph (the other Mama) demonstrated her super human bowling abilities to the kids.  Seriously I think she might have a robotic arm or something.

So while the kids learned all about velocity, mass and….spheres and stuff, I snapped a few shots on my iphone and internally high fived myself for providing them with such great learning opportunities.

Oh and this my friends…

This is Maths.  Who knew that bowling could be so educational!

I used to think Valentine’s was important, I was envious of friends who received cards and bunches of flowers, it was all so romantic.  The first Valentine’s I celebrated with Stephen was a few days after we met.  He made me a mix tape, I still have it.  But over the years it started to irritate me, our anniversary is just before Valentine’s Day so we can never get a table at a restaurant or celebrate without feeling it is contaminated by the shiny heart fest that is Fake Made Up Buy A Card Or Chocolates Or Ugly Teddy Bear Day.

So now you know.  I’m a Valentine’s grinch.

But.

When you have small people in your life you become aware of these days again, having successfully ignored it for many a long time.  And who doesn’t love seeing their favourite little people get a card from a friend, or a heart shaped sweet with a hand written and badly spelled note attached to it?  It reminds us of how easily children love, how freely they share their hearts with one another.  Despite the hideousness of some cheaply manufactured cartoon cash-in mini card, the sight of my child’s name in wonky writing never fails to melt my icy heart.  If the card is handmade I will pretty much give that child money.

Yesterday, as we sat making some little collage cards out of pink card and heart covered scrap book paper, I felt very far away from feelings of love and contentment however.  Neirin was screaming, wailing, complaining, ripping and generally doing everything he could to turn a pleasing card making session into the most frustrating experience possible.  And that was the high point of the day.  By six pm I was officially out of patience and when he spat out home made cough mixture over me I was done.  I got cross, I shouted, I LOST MY PATIENCE.

I felt crap.  Where was the love?

But then, after a brief interlude of peace when both boys were settled in bed, the cries began again.  This time it was different, a fever had risen in his body and his cries came from a far away place of confusion and misery.  Having never been sick he was totally confused, unable to fully wake or fully sleep he tossed and turned; his cheeks burned red, his body radiated heat.  Despite my best efforts he wouldn’t accept any medicine, eventually I managed to get some homeopathics into him by melting them in water.  He wouldn’t even allow a cool, lavender soaked cloth.  Stephen and I hovered over him, hurting in our hearts as he wailed in discomfort and confusion.

Guilt raged in me, I had been angry with him just a couple of hours before, so angry I couldn’t even think straight.  I was tired from disturbed nights,  I was tired from a day of being wailed at, I’d reached my limit of screaming and complaining and refusing to do even the simplest things like eat, or drink, or take medicine to stop the painful coughing.  My shame was burning as bright as his fever.

Then I had an idea, I picked him up, put him on my lap and snuggled him into my breast, close and warm as he has been since he was born.  Perhaps he could even hear the strong beat of my heart as he lay his face against my skin, but I don’t think so because he fell asleep in moments.  For the first time all night he was peaceful.  All night he snuggled in next to me, his body like a hot water bottle; I gave him the only healing I could, my devotion.  He wouldn’t take medicine, but he would accept comfort, his arms around my neck, his face pressed to mine.

Love.

It is a complicated thing.  I find myself angry with my little boy because he won’t take something to heal himself, I love him so much his pain makes me hurt too.  But sometimes all we can offer them is love, all we can give is our unconditional willingness to spend the night tangled up together, wakeful and aware, tending and supporting.  Even the worst moments can be motivated by love and the mistakes we make can be healed by love too.

I am beginning to see why this festival, this day of red foil balloons and terrifying stuffed animals, might actually be appropriate after all.  February is a tough month, a time of cold, a time of being cooped up, of longing for the freedoms of summer months.  It is a time when we get sick, when our reserves are low and when our patience with one another can wear very, very thin.   But of course this is when we need love the most.

So I’m converted.  I may not buy into the ‘romance’ of the day; I think romance is a cup of tea at the end of a busy day, a laugh shared in a tough moment, a big hug when it is most needed, or even when it isn’t.  But I can see a reason to celebrate our family, our love for each other, our willingness to spend each day together through the ups and downs.  Our willingness to forgive each other, to tend and support each other, to keep vigil in the night and organise a day around a still poorly little boy.

I remember when I was little there was a cartoon that said Love Is…never having to say you’re sorry.  I disagree, I think love means saying you are sorry a lot, but it is also shared laughter, home made cards, ginger cookies cut out on the counter by a boy who says over and over again “Because I am poorly!”.  It is one day, it is everyday.  It is worth celebrating.

I’m making a good start and trying to simply add in extra things each week.  I already cook our meals from scratch (except for soup, I buy that in tins) but that doesn’t mean that each meal is exceptionally inspiring; that is something I’m working on too.   But there are other elements that I’ve noticed can push up the food bill beyond raw ingredients.  I know I’m not the only person to get the checkout and have a minor coronary as the number on the digital display just keeps going up. And up.  I mean $5 and upwards for Hummus.  Hummus!  My boys can go through a pot of that stuff in a lunchtime.  Can I really be spending over $10 a week on mushed up chickpeas?  And yoghurt, don’t even get me started.  Even a non organic yoghurt can easily run to $4-5 a pot and I have been finding myself buying up to 4 pots a week in order to keep my probiotic loving children supplied with their favourite runny snack.  $20 a week.  $100 a month on sour milk.

Well no more.  I am striving to rob the supermarket/whole food store of some of their profits as I produce at least some of our own favourite foods.  My kitchen is starting to feel like a little unit of production, though it is all slotted in over the course of hours and days around the house.  This week I’ve produced

- Chicken stock (2 batches from 1 carcass!) which made about 3 litres of concentrate

- 2 batches of Hummus (I’ve been using dried beans that I soak overnight then cook which makes the whole thing much cheaper)

- 6 loaves of wholewheat bread (using organic flour and coconut oil)

- 1 batch of choc chip oat cookies (the equivalent of 2 and a bit store bought boxes and without the very long list of ingredients)

- 2 batches of apple sauce

-2 litres of yoghurt (using organic milk so producing nearly 3 pots worth for less than the price of a pot of organic yoghurt)

- home made lara bar (a tray that will last us a good few days for the same price as about 2 store bought ones and with lots of added extras like chia seeds and coconut oil)

That is roughly $84 worth of food there, perhaps more if you account for the bread being organic and all natural rather than just the price of a standard loaf.  I’m not sure what all my ingredients cost but it wasn’t $84!  And that is not even including the many fruit smoothies that we have for breakfasts and snacks but without the polystyrene cups and hefty price tags.  What I’m losing out of the budget is the cost of paying someone else to make my food for me.  I’m also ridding myself of all the plastic packaging these items come in, no yoghurt pots, plastic boxes or aluminium lined cardboard to get rid of.  I can reuse glass storage containers and mason jars and can even find uses for some of the bulk bags my flours came in.

I still have food costs of course, ingredients cost money.  But I am able to buy better quality ingredients and be much more in control of what I use.  I know exactly what we are eating because I made it!  I am slowly moving our kitchen away from being a unit of consumption to a unit of production and it feels good to see the fruits of my labours being happily consumed by my family.  This work that I do has a direct impact upon our quality of life, our health and our budget and generally the time it takes to make these things can be slotted in around our regular day.  As I do each task more and more the process becomes easier taking less time and effort.

This week I’ll be looking for some new challenges; as well as making some of the staples listed above I’ll be making some beef stock and rendered fat, some oat snack bars and getting creative with meals using recipes from the e-course I’m taking at  Whole Food Kitchen.  It’s a course teaching how to approach a whole food diet with tons of advice and recipes as well as a great online forum.  I’ve made one of the meals so far and it one exceptionally tasty and took about 10-15 minutes to prepare.  Couldn’t be better!

It may seem like a small thing, to produce food at home that we used to have to buy, but to me it feels important.  I feel that I am taking control of my home, making active choices rather than blinding walking the aisles and buying whatever a supermarket has to offer that week.  By making so much myself, by meal planning and buying only the ingredients that I need, I avoid making rash purchases of pre made foods that cost way more and are full I things I can’t pronounce.  I am seeing myself as a producer, someone who is empowered, rather than a consumer.  It gives me a sense of purpose, a connection to a vision of how our family should work.  Each time I turn on the oven or reach for my food processor I am taking a step closer to a feeling of independence and, more importantly, competence.

As the saying goes, you are what you eat.  In that case our family is home made and pretty darn tasty.

Whenever we visit this place I’m always amazed at how much we pack in to our visits.  Today there was skating on a makeshift rink, imagination games, nature observation, the chance to run (and run!) free and wild, art made in the snow, kindness practiced and I’m sure many other things that I can’t quantify in words.  Plus Mummy got the chance to sit and catch up with a friend, bonus!

After weeks of grey, ice rain and snow, today felt like a shining gift, a little winter oasis signposting our journey toward spring.  Despite my eagerness to see the green growing season return, if there are more days like this one ahead I think  I can bear the wait.  Just.

- Enjoying the beautiful ‘fake spring’ we get every February.  Only -9 tomorrow, wooohooo!

- Thinking about new ways of cooking and lots about the kinds of ingredients I want to use, getting more done in the kitchen this last week.

- Noticing that I get stressed about parking in town, pollution and noise so feeling grateful for our country retreat.

- Feeling amazed and lucky to be living in such a beautiful home, in such a beautiful place.

- Learning new things on my whole foods course.

- Taking it easy after being hit with a heavy cold and recognising my need for low key in the coming months.  It would appear I have adrenal fatigue (more on this another time) so I’m taking time to be peaceful and learning to enjoy liquorice tincture.

- Listening to Kathy’s new e-book as an mp3, so much more relaxing and can be done with eyes closed on the sofa!

- Watching my boys grow before my very eyes and learning to appreciate their quirks and selves a little more.

- Exercising patience, with the boys, the dogs, myself.  Finding it exceptionally worthwhile.

- Wondering what I’ll be doing this time next year.

- Planning many, many sewing projects.

- Loving the shift since Imbolc, I know it is a way off but spring is in the air this week!

- Hoping that this upswing will last and that I can start working towards a healthier and more energetic self.

- Knowing it will take time, but feeling joyful none the less.

The sunshine this week has been restorative; despite having a cold and Stephen being sick too (being sick together is not really fun although you do get to commiserate which is nice) I’ve felt very peaceful as the sun poured in and over me.  Today I sat on the sofa, listening to my e-book and I felt relaxed.  Today I walked through our fields, listening to bird song and watching them dart from tree to tree.  Today I laughed with my kids and hugged them when they were down, I found more compassion in my heart for them.  Today I watched the full moon sit just above my house, I saw a pattern in the stars like an arrow shooting across the sky.  I felt the tingle of spring beneath the ice and snow.  It feels like new beginnings, like a fresh slate.

But no longer!  I can honestly say that since we started up again in the new year things have been very different.  There have been lots of contributing factors one being  Neirin attending preschool a couple of mornings a week, giving me a 2 hour window to work 1-1 with Huwyl, this works really well for us.  I’ve also narrowed down my focus on the kind of work we are going to do this year using the Ambleside Online book list as a basis for our curriculum.  I’m not using their week to week plan and there are elements that I am leaving out (bible study and books based on overt Christian teachings) but the suggestions for wider reading and history stories (50 famous stories retold and Viking Tales) are complementing our existing books really well.  

So this is what our week is looking like:

Monday: Phonics (we are using Explode the Code and Huwyl is on book 2), History with Story of the World followed by SOTW activity book activity, stories from 50 Famous Stories Retold and some Maths games on the computer.

Tuesday: Music Lesson in the morning followed by errands.  In the afternoon we do some phonics and Artistic Pursuits, a great art history and practical art curriculum.

Wednesday: Social time with friends (often a ‘field trip’ or activity) some phonics and a science experiment.  At the moment we are using a science kit Huwyl got for Christmas and then we are moving on to RSO Earth.

Thursday: Phonics, 50 famous stories, Aesop’s fables (we are using the lapbooks at homeschool share as extension activities) and Math games/activities.  We have a Math Mammoth curriculum but I am trying to vary our experience too with some Living Maths elements and games.

Friday: Free day!  Crafts, play dates, fun movie…whatever suits us on the day.

In addition to all this Huwyl does Music practice every day as well as some household chores, the rest of the time is for play.

This rhythm has taken me quite a while to find and I try to be realistic about what can be achieved, after all Huwyl is only 6!  The days where Neirin is at preschool are our more ‘intensive’ days, but even then I am aiming to keep us moving, bearing in mind the recommendation from Charlotte Mason that a child of this age should only be working for 10 minutes or so per subject.  We don’t stick to that but I think it is a useful guideline to remember when considering what a child can cope with and how much to expect.

Using some of the classical resources such as SOTW and the First Language Lessons (we are returning to then when we’ve finished Explode the Code), as well as the picture study and practical elements of Artistic Pursuits and Explode the Code,  fits in really well with the Charlotte Mason methodology of using narration as a learning tool, especially before the age of 10.  Huwyl has a phenomenal memory for stories, poems, anything he has heard really so narration is perfect for him.  He does some writing with Explode the Code (2-4 pages a day is our current goal) so I am happy for him to answer most questions verbally.  Penmanship is something we can develop a bit more next year and my feeling is that until he is 8 or so it will be a bit shaky!

Sometimes I worry that we are not ‘doing enough’ or that he isn’t writing enough, reading enough etc etc.  I know this is natural but I remind myself of what we are doing.  He is being exposed to art and art history, to ancient history and the great tales of Britain, we are exploring science, working on our own crafts, he’s learning to write and enjoys reading whatever he sees around him.  I’m not sure what he would be doing in school but I feel that the developmental path he is on now is one natural to him.  He’s allowed to work in ways that work with his natural tendencies rather than having to conform to a standard that may not suit.

Our story reading time doubles up as snuggle time on the sofa, maths can be about movement as well as numbers, if it is a glorious day outside he can have more time to play in the snow and ice.  I feel that he is experiencing a very ‘free’ education; not one devoid of work or effort but one designed for him and, in some ways, by him.   As well as developing core skills I really want the boys to be aware of how much wonder there is in the world, how many great things there are to see and do.  To have an overview of the world not a blinkered one.

I’m sure this rhythm will change again, as the season changes as our needs change.  But for now this is working really well and I so enjoy the time we have, working together on projects, reading stories and even posing for my very own portrait!  What could be better?

But then Saturday dawned and it was a world remade.  The trees had donned coats of diamonds, ice coating their branches and fluffy snow making the earth beneath shimmer.  For a short while in the morning the sun came out and set the diamond forests alight, glowing from within it seemed, magical and ephemeral.

By the time I had finished walking the dogs, breaking the quiet with our crashing feet crunching through layers of ice and powder snow, the sun had hidden himself again behind clouds that would remain for the day.  The shining cloaks were gone, tinkling to the ground as the day warmed and the wind moved the branches.

But in my mind’s eye it was all there, as bright and sharp as the cold wind rubbing at my red cheeks.  I felt that something had shifted in me, simply by witnessing this glorious beauty; this extravagance laid on, it seemed, just for me.  I felt sheer joy surrounded by sights so pure and fleeting.  It lifted my heart and warmed me, I was being rewarded without any idea of the good deed I had done.

It has stayed with me, the feeling of magic and marvel, when I think of those moments spent outside with my camera, dashing from this to that trying to capture what I saw.  The photographs do show some  but inside my own remembering there is so much more.  The feel of the wind, the warmth on my skin as the sun beat through my closed lids and, when I opened them, a world made new.  A world of crystal and light.  Shining.

Stay well.